Careers

Dream Fucking Job

Ah, adulthood.

I remember strutting across that stage to retrieve that piece of paper. The piece of paper that symbolized the one thing we’d all been waiting for: freedom.

How exciting! Right?

Yeah…until a day, a week, or maybe a few months later when it hits you: what the hell do I do now?

If you’re anything like me, you have a list of things you DON’T want to do…

Veterinarian? Please. You think I want to be in school for 8+ years just to stick my hand through the threshold of a cow’s anus?

Teacher? I would, but at some point spanking respect and common sense into children became known as abuse instead of discipline. Tell me if I’m wrong, but I don’t see timeout or detention really instilling obedience into these spoiled, outspoken kids.

Doctor? I don’t know about you, but anytime I see a wound on a human body I can PHYSICALLY feel their pain. Not good for time sensitive scenarios.

The list goes on and on…

But when it comes to what you DO want to do, the possibilities are endless…

What’s more important- happiness or a paycheck? Is it possible to have both? How do I know at the wee age of 20 (yes, I’ve been contemplating this for two years now) what the hell I like, am good at, or want to spend my life doing?

With school being as expensive as it is, I don’t want to waste my time getting a degree for something I’ll end up hating just as much as my minimum wage job. If I am going to be miserable I might as well not be in debt my whole life for it.

But, I need money! Minimum wage isn’t enough to travel, go to school, buy a house, anything that I’d like to do now or in the near future.

So, what are my options?

Stripping?

I mean, I already hate my job. At least someone would appreciate my efforts there! And hell, at least I can make a pretty penny doing SOMETHING.

But, I’m a nice young lady. With fucking morals.

So, if any of you have any tips, tricks, magic potions, or cures for what-the-fuck-do-i-do-with-my-life-syndrome…. let ya girl know.

Until next time,

Your catastrophic friend

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